MY WAY.......

Thought I should end this year..
With a few thoughts ...
Since the New Year is around the corner ..
And it always brings good cheer..
Thought I should say hi to all who made my days full of smiles..
Even if it were for a while ..
Or forever more..
Year 2011.. I love you ..like no other year..
You found me friends..
You filled me with laughter...
You got me to travel to places far and wide..
You opened my heart..
You made me swallow my pride..
You made me sing..
About beautiful things..
You smiled down blessings from above..
Felt peace and joy..
Smiled from every corner of my heart and soul ..
It was wonderful even when I was all alone ...
Learned to laugh till tears rolled down my cheeks..
Also fell down and cracked my rib..
Which hurt pretty deep..
And am learning to love ..
Deeper ...without holding back..
Without trying to hold and keep like gold ..

Yes I'm impulsive..
Yes sometimes I'm bold..
And sometimes I cry like Mary who lost her little lamb in the biting cold ..
But learned to say sorry ..
When my sharp tongue takes over..
It's not nice .. And I must agree..
My temper is no friend of mine ..
But like a bottle of soda..
I pop I fizz
And then settle down ..
And feel amiss..

But know most times..
I have gone ahead and said things I should never have said ...
Stupid idiotic foolish me..
But I am learning from my mistakes..

But then again in retrospect ...
I have just this one life ..
And want to live it well ..
Stare each day in his face ..
Look into his brown eyes ..
Run and hug him tight..
And laugh with him in all his throaty space ..

I want to be me ..
And it's OK to be imperfect ...
It's all right to make mistakes..
Its all right to do silly things..
It's fine to say what your heart wants to say ...
To make random calls to people you love....
To have more than the proper amount of champagne..
To share stuff with your girl-friends most of the time ..
To have babies... Hug and cuddle them ,till their eyes sparkle and shine ..
To fall deep into an abyss ..
And stay there for a while ..

Have now understood that some people in my life..
Don't want to stay..
I realized that what I thought IS, is not, and what is not , is, so WHAT IS NOT, ACTUALLY IS ...
Hope this makes sense..
Because frankly it confused the daylights out of me..

I love 2011...
Like no other year before...
Cannot explain in mere words ...
But my heart visited the moon and back ..
I understood the meaning of soul-mate...
And still probably did not...
My soul sang, it soared, it ran through fields, it sat near lakes..
It swam in the ocean and squinted at the rising sun , it listened to Buble in the moon lite
when the day was done ..

I travelled this year...
I learned to cook..
I learned to sleep alone in the dark ..
Just me and me Che Guevara book..
I learned patience..a bit by bit ..
I learned to listen ..
I learned to smile..
I learned that I need to at least count at least till 9....

What I have to really learn in the coming year..
Is to SHUT up ..
Instead of blurting everything out..
To try and remember more, than I have said ..
To be a little less transparent ..
To exercise..
And do Yoga for my heart ,soul and mind ..
To travel some more..
To laugh with fate..
To bungee jump once more..
To sky dive, into the open space..
And last but not the least ..
To climb Machu Pichu..
It's the one place I really want to be ..

To all my loved ones..
Thank you for this year..
For bearing with my madness, sulking and fears..
For always being there while I was plagued with doubts and even while I walked on clouds ..
For spending time with me..
Virtually... while I was cooking my heart off at Tante Marie..
I grew up this year..
Not just a year older..
But my heart understood love ..
And no it's not only about beautiful words ,music or flowers..

It's about basic stuff..
Like being there without really making a big show ..
That special hi or hello ..
It's that little message that beeps on your phone..
That says I can feel you near, when you are sitting alone ..
It about arms that hold you tight , when you crying with all your might..
It's the kind of love that helps you soar.. When you think your wings are not as strong as before ..
It's straight..
It's kind ..
It's the one that laughs at your silly jokes..
And calls you funny names..
The one that will not run away on a rainy day ..

So dear Ms. Love..
Thank you for being my friend..
And please go around blowing warm kisses ..
To all the ones I will hold dear..
No matter where they are..
Happy happy 2012...

Thank you Amito for capturing me in this moment in time...

p.s. "I've loved, I've laughed and cried,
I've had my fill, my share of losing,
And now,as tears subside,I FIND IT ALL SO AMUSING,
To think, I did all that,
And I may say not in a shy way,
Oh no, Oh no , not me....
I DID IT MY WAY"